Your partner knows your iPhone passcode: keeping your reminders private

Once someone knows your passcode, your iPhone treats them as you. Every setting that hides a reminder until the phone is unlocked, previews, widgets, even a locked app, stops working, because the passcode unlocks all of it.

Plenty of couples share a passcode, and this page isn't an argument against that. It's for the moment you want one thing to stay yours: a gift you're planning, an appointment you'd rather explain in your own time. Apple's settings do most of the work, and the order matters, so start with the passcode.

Where it shows up

With your passcode, a person can read a reminder in:

• The Reminders app, or any other reminders app, once the phone is unlocked
• Notification previews set to When Unlocked, which show a reminder's words as soon as the phone is unlocked
• The Reminders widget on the Lock Screen or Home Screen, Today View, and Spotlight search
• An app you locked with Require Face ID, because Apple's steps for opening a locked app end with "authenticate using Face ID (or Touch ID or a passcode)"
• Every device signed in to your Apple Account: Apple's Reminders guide says you see all of your reminders on all devices signed in to the same Apple Account, so a shared iPad counts
• Any list you share, where Apple's sharing page says the people you invite can add, delete and complete items

What to do

1. Change the passcode. Go to Settings, tap Face ID & Passcode (or Touch ID & Passcode), then tap Change Passcode. Apple's passcode guide says the most secure choices under Passcode Options are Custom Alphanumeric Code and Custom Numeric Code
2. Expire the old one. Apple's Personal Safety guide notes that on iOS 17 or later, your old passcode can still reset the new one for 72 hours after a change. To end that now, go to Settings, Face ID & Passcode, and tap Expire Previous Passcode
3. Check Face ID. Apple's Face ID guide says Set Up an Alternate Appearance adds a second face for Face ID to recognize. If you think someone added one with your passcode, Apple's advice is to tap Reset Face ID and set it up again. Keep Require Attention for Face ID on (Settings, Accessibility, Face ID & Attention); Apple says requiring attention makes Face ID more secure
4. Require Face ID on the reminders app (iOS 18 and later). Touch and hold the app's icon, tap Require Face ID, then confirm. Apple's lock or hide an app page says information inside a locked app won't appear in notification previews, search, Siri suggestions or CarPlay, and that the lock applies only on that iPhone. Reminders isn't on Apple's list of built-in apps that can't be locked. On iOS 17 and earlier the option doesn't exist
5. Set previews to When Unlocked. Go to Settings, tap Notifications, tap Reminders below Notification Style, tap Show Previews and choose When Unlocked or Never. Apple's notification settings page lists the three options. With a new passcode, "unlocked" means you again. To keep widgets and Notification Center off the Lock Screen too, turn off Today View and Search and Notification Center under Allow Access When Locked; Apple's Lock Screen page notes you lose that quick access yourself
6. Consider Stolen Device Protection. Apple built it for theft; by default its extra checks apply only away from familiar locations such as home or work. One line on Apple's page makes it relevant anyway: opening a locked app is on the list of actions that then need Face ID or Touch ID "with no passcode alternative or fallback", and if you set Require Security Delay to Always, that holds at home too. The trade-off: changing your passcode or Apple Account password then takes Face ID, an hour's wait and Face ID again, and you can't turn off Find My while it's on. It's under Settings, Face ID & Passcode, Stolen Device Protection, on iOS 17.3 or later
7. Look at the rest of the account. Apple's checklist points to Settings, your name, Devices, to remove any device you don't recognize. On iOS 16 or later, Safety Check under Settings, Privacy & Security reviews sharing, devices, your passcode and your Apple Account password, with a Quick Exit button

The catches

• A new passcode is noticeable. Apple's own safety guidance says changes to sharing or access may be noticed by others. It's your phone, and a new passcode needs no explanation beyond that
• Require Face ID is a lock with a spare key. The passcode opens a locked app unless Stolen Device Protection's Always option is on
• iCloud doesn't care about your passcode. Your reminders still sync to every device signed in to your Apple Account, and a shared list stays shared. For a shared iPad, see a surprise on a shared iCloud account
• Apple Reminders has no private reminder. These settings cover every reminder on the phone at once, not the one that matters. More on that in private reminders on iPhone

If the person who knows your passcode uses it to check up on you or control what you do, your safety comes before any setting here. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 is free, confidential, open around the clock, and helps people plan safely.

Where Notif fits

I make Notif, a reminders app that writes to its own list in Apple Reminders, and this is the moment private notes are for: you mark the one note that matters private and leave the rest alone. What private means, exactly, is in the box below, straight from the app, so you don't have to take my word for it. Notif is free on the App Store: get Notif.

Questions

If my partner knows my passcode, does Require Face ID on an app keep them out?

Not on its own. Apple's steps for opening a locked app end with authenticating by Face ID, Touch ID or a passcode, so the passcode is a way in. Change the passcode first; with Stolen Device Protection set to Always, Apple says opening a locked app needs Face ID or Touch ID with no passcode alternative

How do I make my old iPhone passcode stop working right away?

Apple says that after you change your passcode on iOS 17 or later, the old one can still reset it for 72 hours. To end that early, go to Settings, tap Face ID & Passcode, and tap Expire Previous Passcode

Could someone have added their face to my Face ID?

Only with your passcode, through Set Up an Alternate Appearance. Apple's advice if you suspect it is to go to Settings, Face ID & Passcode, tap Reset Face ID, and set Face ID up again, which removes every appearance

Does changing my passcode keep my reminders off our shared iPad?

No. A passcode protects one iPhone, and Apple says you see all of your reminders on all of your Apple devices signed in to the same Apple Account. For a shared device you need to turn off iCloud Reminders on it or sign it out

Is every note in Notif private?

No, only the notes you mark private. A note that isn't private can be sent, one at a time, to Notif's server and an AI provider to write its Insight, and your notes are never stored on Notif's servers